It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
