After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
