I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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