were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize