I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
