What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
