omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
