If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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