i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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