lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
