I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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