I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
