Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just high enough for therapy.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
