Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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