I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
