i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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