What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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