Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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