Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
