I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I did not marry a roomba.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
