if you like me you must not know who I am
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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