I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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