margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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