New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just high enough for therapy.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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