Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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