weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
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