I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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