waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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