yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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