Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
