I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
