I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
