I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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