Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
