well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
