I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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