So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
