Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize