$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
