That's when you crack a 10am beer
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
