She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
