You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
