She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My brain says no but my pants say off.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
