Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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