There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
