is your mom at the bar?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She's the barista slut.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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