Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
