Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Randomize
