Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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