i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
