You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
