Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
