then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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