Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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