I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Randomize
