yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
