I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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