You're so nebulous sometimes
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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