it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
