if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
