Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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