I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize