I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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